Keeping the Rage under Control:
Love and relationships are not all about being so in love, caressing one another and exchange of sweet words. It is also a matter of adjustment and being in tune with another person’s personality and interest. So, just like a bush fire on a humid day, any argument between a couple is something that is never uncommon but something that could be under control.
It’s always about compromising and setting aside the pride, allowing yourself to genuinely ask forgiveness and forgive easily.
Conflicts arise when you and your partner are in an intense argument over something. Most of the time, pride comes in and instead of trying to fix differences, you are pinpointing who’s more right than who. So before any heart will break and end up having a shattered soul, here’s quick tips on how to if not eliminate, at least minimize the occurrence of quarrels as boyfriend-girlfriend.
Identify Anger Cues:
Are you already clenching your fist? Is your heart beating faster than normal? Is your face turning red? Be on lookout. Identifying that you are already on the verge of blurting out your rage is very necessary for anger control. Once you feel these signals, make sure to do something.
Take a Downtime:
Take a deep breath, relax and acknowledge the presence of the rising of conflict that is about to explode. Instead of dealing with problems with both extreme emotions, taking a time out is necessary to avoid saying any negative words towards each other that both of you might just regret and could hurt your partner for a long time.
Be an Effective Communicator:
Lover’s quarrel is usually a result of miscommunication. Don’t expect your partner to act like a fortune teller. This is a no-guessing game so make sure to communicate whatever your feelings are. Don’t expect your partner to know how you feel just because you are giving him an evil eye or went grumpy for the entire day. Instead, verbalize your feelings and communicate in a proper and honest way.
Find the Solution, Don’t be a Faultfinder:
Once you have acknowledged the roots of your argument, discuss the solution on how to avoid it and not whose fault was it. Good conversation ends up with a resolution on how as a couple should no longer argue about the same issue all over again. Overcoming lover’s quarrel starts from the choice to forgive and learn from your mistakes.
We also talk about the journey of finding true love when you are still about to enter the dating phase which is very essential. It’s always about compromising and setting aside the pride, allowing yourself to genuinely ask forgiveness and forgive easily. Well, we all know that there is no perfect relationship, but even though we are imperfect, the decision to adjust, to give chances and to selflessly love will always make it last.
Image credit: alex de carvalho of Flickr