Things to Avoid when Meeting Potential Friends for the First Time

 Bear in mind that getting along with someone, also depends on the temperament and over-all personality of the person you are going to meet.

Meeting new people and making new friends surely makes our world go a little bit wider and happier. More than the simple handshakes and gentle, awkward first greeting, getting to know someone for the first time definitely requires a good impression, too.  Most especially, if it’s meeting important people (sort of) to impress like “the-wife-of-your-husband’s-boss” especially if your hubby is eyeing for a promotion, the “the mother-of-the-girl-your-son-wants-to-date” or the ever “girlfriends-of-your-mother-in-law-who-keeps-comparing-you-with-your-husband’s-exes”. Whew, that was statement of long dashes and italized characters there, but that’s only for the emphasis and nothing more, ok? Are you ready? Or do you remember anything familiar? I can feel you, I promise.

Personally, I hate meeting new people intentionally before because I hate feeling the necessity to be accepted positively or at least, no bad remarks afterwards. Later on, I eventually learned how to deal with people without forcing myself to please them. There will never be a perfect set up for the first meeting to have a hopeful, blossoming friendship with someone. However, there are definitely very important things to remember during the first encounter. Bear in mind that getting along with someone, also depends on the temperament and over-all personality of the person you are going to meet. So, here’s the simple guide on the red flags to avoid when meeting new people.

Don’t Hit the Drama Button:

As much as you want to share your life with new acquaintances, always control yourself in sharing too much about your life’s struggle. We always find other people as interesting during first meeting when we find them amusing, entertaining and truly express positive vibes. Well, not that you have to become an instant entertainer, but make sure to go home without smudging your mascara because you cried and shared about your bankruptcy, recent divorce or feeling so low moments with these clueless people you just met. Never ever hit your drama button, not just yet, unless you have already built what they call as “trust and friendship“.

Speak No-Evil:

I know that you definitely desire to escape any “dead-airs”  and silent moments when you just can’t talk about anything. Relax! No matter how much you know about other people, that’s not enough reason to share about any gossip you just heard from the neighborhood about that lady across your table. If it’s just for the sake of saying something, your listener might like gossip as much as you do, but nobody likes a “kiss-and-tell” type of friend. Good impression starts with sharing good talks and there’s never good about speaking evil about other people. As always, making a new and lasting friendship always starts with spreading good and sincere words when communicating with others.

Stop being “All about Me” Type of Person:

Since the letter “I” is the smallest letter in the alphabet, makes sure it does not comprise more than 50% of your sentences. Instead of sharing all about yourself, try to consider showing your genuine interest about the person you are with. You are definitely eyeing for a friendship to bloom so why not start asking more about her/him, instead of sharing all about you.  Besides, if you just found a bff-in-the-making, you have the rest of your life sharing and talking about anything under the sun.

Skip Sensitive Topics:

Questions about sensitive issues like religion, recent life’s struggles, stand on abortion and anything that could lead to unnecessary debate and premature conflicts should be avoided as much as possible.  You must always learn to place a boundary on what you wanted to know. You are not there to interrogate, you are there to unwind and breath fresh air of new acquaintances so make sure never to rub any salt in somebody’s wound with your words.

Never Borrow Money:

No matter how obvious that it’s definitely a big no-no, some people still do it (intentionally?!?). Well, I could not find any acceptable excuse for anyone to do it, you ought to gain friendship, not debt. However, if ever there are isolated cases like emergency situations, always make sure to pay back as soon as possible. There’s definitely no way out to gain a good impression after having an unwanted debt left unpaid just because you forgot or chose to forget about it.

This simple guide about things to avoid on making new friends are surely very simple to follow. Making friends is not about being who they wanted you to be accepted in the social circle, but be able to be sensitive enough to know your boundaries. Through this you will be able to build a lasting and strong friendship. Be sincere as much as possible, be willing to open up according to what you deem as suitable and fitting without being too dull and stiff.

Cheers to so many friendships to make and so many stories worth sharing over a glass of wine. May you be able to avoid first meeting disasters and awkward moments, but you can definitely and always work things out. Go, go, dear friend!!! Way to go!

Photo Credits: Making Friends by Slava