That Thing Called Love:

IS IT LOVE?

“When you carefully consider your words, thoughts and actions, and specifically how they will benefit that other person,” says Dr. Neder, “you’re in love.”

Your heart races every time he calls, your smile starts to change when you hear his familiar voice and your palms sweat whenever he’s near. You think he may be “the one” or “I’m so in love!”. But how do you know if this is the real thing? How do you exactly know if it’s love? Is there a concrete way to paved on in finding true love?

According to Paul Coelho: Love is an untamed force. When we try to control it, it destroys us. When we try to imprison it, it enslaves us. When we try to understand it, it leaves us feeling lost and confused.

True indeed. Knowing and trying to understand what love is, is certainly a million dollar question and pursuit that will take a lifetime of experiences to explicitly answer. Almost everyone in the world today have experienced to love and be loved in their own unique ways, have experienced to be hurt, have experienced to lose someone, have experienced to be broken, lost and confused. Yes, love is demanding, nourishing and difficult. But ask a person if he’ll choose to love again? The answer will most probably be yes than no. Why? Because in spite of all the pain and heartaches, love is still a beautiful thing. A many splendored thing. A gift no one can entirely fathom and define. Finding true love is not just a destination, instead, it’s a beautiful and majestic journey.

But how do we exactly know if it’s love? Here are definitions of some of the experts:

Dr. Neder defines true love as caring about the health, well-being and happiness of another person to a greater degree than your own health, well-being and happiness. “When you carefully consider your words, thoughts and actions, and specifically how they will benefit that other person,” says Dr. Neder, “you’re in love.”

Christiane Northrup, M.D., author of Women’s Bodies, Women’s Wisdom (Bantam, 1998) and The Wisdom of Menopause (Bantam, 2003), says “true love is when you care enough for another person to allow them the space and time they need to become all they can be.”

Laurie Moore, Ph.D., says all love comes from an open heart. “When you’re together, it’s open and safe at the same time,” she says. Moore believes, however, that this doesn’t mean the person you love is necessarily your life partner.

Therefore, finding true love is difficult in a relationship where it is not being cultivated. Also, love can never be hidden in a place where it truthfully and freely resides. Let love be your choice first, be the source before the recepient. Love yourself so that you can share it with others. In fact, it is also love that heals every broken soul, especially during your first heartbreak.

Now if you still don’t know whether it’s love, try to answer these questions: Do you feel good when you are with your partner? Are you motivated to become a better person when you are with that person? Do you force yourself to be happy when you are with him? A good relationship makes you feel good about yourself. Nothing less. Just more.

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